The Language of Success

I had lunch with an old friend the other day and couldn’t get a word in edgewise. For almost two hours I heard about the problems she has with her husband, her friends and her ailing health. I also realized that we had the same conversation a year ago and the year before that. In fact, I can’t remember a time when we had an uplifting conversation (I’m not sure I can call it a conversation since she was the one doing all of the talking). It dawned on me that not only had my friend bought into her own sob stories, she was creating real-life versions.

Most of us understand that the actions we take (or don’t take) lead to our success or lack thereof. But I wonder how many people actually stop to analyze the words that regularly come out of their mouths. We seem to be a society of such fast talkers that it’s hard to believe we are truly that thoughtful about our daily diatribe.

The words that come out of our mouths actually set in motion self-fulfilling prophesies. Our words are the impetus that directs our lives. I think most of us know a Debbie Downer – she’s the friend who’s always complaining and telling you her sad story or depressing drama. How do you feel around her? Probably not so good, right? What fabulous things are happening in her life? Not too many if any at all. Most likely, Debbie sucks the life right out of you.

People like Debbie are stuck in a scarcity mentality that creates their negative reality. You will often hear things like, “I can’t”, “I should” or “I’m so upset because…”. Not taking personal responsibility and placing blame on external things keeps us stuck and small. Taking full responsibility for everything that happens in our lives keeps us moving forward. Take a look at these small but powerful language shifts that move us from naysayer to confident go-getter:

I can’t to I choose
I don’t want to I intend or I want
My problem is to My opportunity is
I should to I would like to

Shifting both our self-talk and the words we utter to others from scarcity to confident, prosperity thinking will have a huge effect on the decisions we make and the actions we take. It will not only affect our own energy, but the energy of those around us.

I am reminded of a wonderful quote from Gandhi:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts.
Your thoughts become your words.
Your words become your actions.
Your actions become your habits.
Your habits become your values.
Your values become your destiny.”

Be thoughtful of the words that come out of your mouth. They could become your destiny.

©Liz Dennery Sanders 2009

Liz Dennery Sanders wants you to build your buzz and be successful beyond your wildest dreams. As the CEO of Dennery Marks Inc., a brand development and celebrity outreach firm, she founded SheBrand, to help female entrepreneurs, executives and small business owners build powerful personal brands with style, attract more clients and position themselves as experts in their industries. You can reach her directly at or

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