Get Off The Comparison Roller Coaster

shutterstock_173632523 It’s a bad habit; many women’s tendency to constantly compare themselves to others. Spending time and energy worrying about what others are doing is good for a strong dose of anxiety and overwhelm.

I see it in the women that I work with every day. Feeling like they can’t keep up or they’re doing something wrong. Even worse, feeling like there isn’t enough to go around – men, money, jobs, clients, friends. You name it and they’ll tell you someone else has more, does more and is more. One word here girls: bulls*@!

There’s only one magnificent YOU. And nobody else can do it exactly like you. Why in the world would you want to copy someone else when you are a living, breathing original? When you waste your energy comparing yourself to others, you not only deplete yourself, but those around you.

If you’re ready to stop spinning, here are a few first steps:

  • Shift your focus. Don’t worry about what the next girl is doing, just get your own work done.
  • Compliment, don’t compare. Make it a habit to find at least one positive thing that someone else is doing and make sure you let them know it.
  • Stop telling yourself you’re just doing “research.” You know who you are. You use research as an excuse to look at whatever everyone else is doing and then you feel paralyzed for days, even weeks, afterwards. Just STOP.
  • Live in the moment. What’s important is right here, right now. The past is done, the future hasn’t come, so all you have is the present. Don’t dull your own light by wasting your batteries on concern for what everyone else is doing.

When YOU take responsibility for who you are, what you stand for and the work you are doing in the world, you inspire another woman to do the same. And that’s a million times more productive for both of you!

© Liz Dennery Sanders 2010

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